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The relationship between parents and children, according to Dr. Eduard Estivill

The relationship between parents and children, according to Dr. Eduard Estivill


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Common sense is what we parents have always used to raise our children for generations. Now in the book Common sense pediatrics, doctor Eduard Estivill it appeals precisely to common sense to raise and educate children.

From his point of view, it makes us reflect on some aspects of children's education that greatly concern parents for the future, such as friendship between parents and children, against which he is against and instead in favor of maintaining the role of parents.

How have the parents of now changed compared to those of before?
Today's parents are better than before, the downside is that they have less time. And why do I say they are better? Because they are more interested in doing things well, they ask and read on the Internet. For this reason, they welcome books like this one that is simply based on scientific concepts, they are not personal opinions but scientific knowledge exposed in a very easy way. This book is a tribute to today's parents. Dr. Gonzalo Pin is the pediatrician who wrote the first and third parts of the book. In the first, it explains all the physical and mental development of a child, and in the third are all the diseases that a child can have from birth to adolescence.

Why is it so important to establish attachment within education?
Attachment is basic for the emotional education of the child. It must be established from the first day of birth, and it is not only the mother who has to have this feeling that the child is close, but also the father. For this reason, we recommend in our book that the father be the one who also participates very actively in all the routines of the care of a newborn baby.

Children must learn to be and to be. Where does the education of children begin?
Education in children always has to start at home. Norms and values ​​are taught at home. In school, what they have to do, and they do it very well, is to teach knowledge. The function of the school is not to educate a child. When a child with two or three years comes to school, he should already know how to say good morning, he has to know how to order things, he has to know that he does not hit his classmates, although sometimes a bite escapes them because it is natural. But if the child learns at home, at school all they do is reinforce all these educational routines that parents have already instilled in the child. Values ​​should also be instilled at home, because if at home there is no tendency to teach things well, no matter how much the school decides to teach it, the child will never learn well.

Explaining death to children is difficult. How can we talk to children about something we don't know?
It is very important that death is communicated to the child based on the child's level of understanding. The death of a grandparent is not the same for a 6-year-old child as for an 11-year-old child. An 11-year-old child has a greater concept and more knowledge to understand that a person is born and, after a few years, dies. Therefore, the most important thing is always to measure up to what the child knows, ask him what he knows about death before speaking. As an example, the child is so spontaneous that he will tell you that to die is to go somewhere else. If you are so small that you do not understand anything other than this concept, you have to continue on this path. Obviously, depending on the beliefs of each one, death must be explained, but always taking into account what the child's intellectual level is, that is, what the child knows about this topic.

Teaching by example is more effective than talking to children. How can we teach rules of conduct to children in practice?
Clearly, example is the best way for a child to learn. The child takes an extraordinary look at what is happening around him, he is a sponge that captures everything from visual to emotional information. Therefore, when you see calm parents who know how to explain things well, you will see a calm child who knows how to do things well, and vice versa, if you see a restless, rude child, do not look at the child, look at the parents who are those who have not known, perhaps due to ignorance or because they do not have time, teach these correct rules to the child.

Can we or should we be friends with our children?
There are many moms, especially when a girl reaches adolescence, who tells you "I am my daughter's best friend." This is a mistake, you can't be friends with your children. The concept of friend for a teenager is someone confidant to whom you can explain everything. The mother must follow the role of being a mother, the mother must have prepared this adolescence, which is prepared from childhood, teaching the child to communicate. It is better half an hour having dinner together, without television, talking and explaining things, than three hours in front of the television with a pizza and without anyone talking to each other. This communication, if we stimulate it and make it grow from the time children are very young, when they reach adolescence, if they have a problem, they will have the ability to communicate it to their parents. But parents cannot be friends with their children, they have to follow the role of parents, and that means in adolescence being someone who is prepared to solve or help in any problem the child has, but the intricacies of the problem, have to tell a friend.

How can we prepare our children for tomorrow?
Responsibility and autonomy are basic to face life and must also be taught from a very young age. One of the biggest mistakes we make today in this situation is giving our children too much, we don't educate them in frustration. Educating in frustration means making children understand that they can lose, that losing is not a problem. Note that children always have a tendency to win, they play Parcheesi and want to win, they cheat in order to win. Children must be taught to lose because success is a specific thing that we must tend to achieve, but it is only achieved with many frustrations in the middle, with many times that we have heard, no, with having lost many times. So a child who is used to losing, who knows that not everything is achieved the first time, who has to make an effort to achieve something, is a child who is prepared for tomorrow, because in life he will find these frustrations and these problems. If we overprotect the child, and he has never lost, he has had everything he wants, we have built a very fragile child when we put him later in society. For this reason, educating in frustration is the best way to increase the child's self-esteem.

Marisol New. Editor of our site

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