Children and lies often go hand in hand at certain stages of their development. It is normal for both boys and girls to say them, moreover, we must know that are necessary for their correct intellectual development.
However, it is also true that nobody likes to be lied to. What to do then, how should we educate lying children?
The first lies They usually appear around 3 or 4 years old, they appear from one day to the next, in that magical age where fantasy and reality constantly intermingle. These first lies play a purely exploratory role, a way in which the child realizes that his thoughts belong to him and no one else, and that in order to communicate with others he must take into account what the other knows.
All children go through this phase of deceit and lies because they must acquire an important milestone in their cognitive development: overcome the egocentricity that characterizes this stage between the ages of 3 and 6.
Another kind of lies are those used by children to avoid a scoldingThey are usually of the type 'I was not', 'it was the fault of so and so or menganito', ... In these cases we should not be excessively strict or cry out to heaven. It is best to educate in sincerity without severely punishing since punishments increase the probability that a child will lie to us again for fear of being reprimanded again. A loop from which we will not be able to escape.
Bearing in mind the exploratory nature of these lies and how necessary they are for their intellectual development, parents should treat them without undue importance. They are rarely lied to with the clear intention of hurting someone. Rather, he is playing games, distorting reality, or trying to avoid punishment.
1. Be the best role models. For our children to understand the importance of sincerity, they must see how their main references, their parents, never lie or deceive them. This does not mean that we should inform them of everything since on some occasions we will have to keep quiet or hide some information or present it in a less impressive way.
2. Avoid calling them liars. When we classify a child as a liar we are being unfair, it is wrong, it is useless, and. of course it is not educational. By calling him that, we can make him fall into the error that he cannot change.
3. Ignore the trivial lies. Many of the little lies that our children tell us are simple games so we have to do as usual and continue to promote the importance of sincerity.
4. Give the opportunity to tell the truth. Faced with a big lie, especially serious or dangerous, such as one related to money or house keys or personal valuables, the child should be given the opportunity to explain the truth before beginning to lecture or yell senselessly. There is a saying that goes 'lie confessed, half forgiven'.
5. Do not humiliate in public. Lies should be dealt with alone to avoid humiliating the child in public.
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